Christmas

Yes, almost Christmas. And no not very much looking forward to it. This is a very bad time to be alone, with all the happiness and cheery families slapping you in the face. Think I read somewhere that suicide rates go up around this time of the year, and I can understand why. But do not worry, I got no plans in that direction. For the first time in all my 42 years I bought myself a small Christmas tree, and I enjoy looking at my cat trying to slap the decorations out of it. However, there are still nights I sit next to that tree and cry.

It’s hard trying to stay positive when things aren’t looking good at all. No luck with jobs, and instead of a Christmas bonus I got me some extra bills I wasn’t expecting. I did manage to get some volunteer work, so once I week I spend a few hours serving dinner and talking to the demented elderly here in town. And a few mornings I help out at a homeless shelter. Thank God for being able to do something again, even though it doesn’t pay my bills. The homeless thing might be a good choice, as I might end up there myself if I don’t find a paid job fast.

What else, oh yes Christmas, well first day I’m going to my dad, making dinner for him and my brother, nothing fancy, haven’t really thought about what I will be making. Second day I’ll be working at the nursing home. Isn’t doing good supposed to bring you good? Well fingers crossed then. Oh, and Merry Christmas!

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